After a week of celebrating my birthday, I can’t imagine how on Planet Earth I managed to get sick. I just don’t think tequila would betray me like that, you know? Regardless, I got sick.

And being sick is worse than running out of snacks. It’s not only physically painful at times but it can hurt your self-esteem. Between finding energy to lift a cup of water to my mouth and trying to look decent with snot dripping down my body, it’s hard to get myself to go anywhere. And surprisingly, the world doesn’t care when you have a sore throat and a cough. Eventually you have to get ready and conquer the day. That’s where I come in with my Hey You’re Sick & Gross Starter Pack.

Step 1. Drink lots of liquid. Obviously water but I find that tea helps a lot. Especially when you drink it out of a dorky cup like mine pictured above (Thanks, HomeGoods). If you’re a girl on the go or constantly at the mall, Nordstrom’s E-Bar has a delicious “Sick Tea” which I have tried personally and, as a coffee drinker, I don’t mind drinking at all. Starbucks also has a Coldbuster Tea (Also known as a Medicine Ball).

Step 2. Use makeup that will trick people into thinking you look healthy. Bronzer and hilighters help give you the good kind of glow, not a sick-I’ve-been-sweating-all-night glow. I like to use white on my lower lid so that people think I’m awake and not counting down the hours until I can sleep again. And a natural but bright lipstick color will add some color to your completely, drained face. Tip: Painting your nails, a face mask, or pampering yourself is an easy way to give yourself some lovin. Especially if you’re single like me and don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend to do cute shit for you. Or maybe you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that sucks and doesn’t do cute shit for you. Either way, it’s important to give yourself some loving.

Step 3. Wear comfortable clothes that look good on you and that you feel confident in. AGAIN, let’s not forget I’m single. As much as I love them, sweats and PJ’s don’t count on this one. I can’t risk meeting a cute boy and looking like someone who lets a sore throat be enough of a reason to let themselves go. Tip: If you’re lazy like me and refuse to do your hair when you feel down, throw it in a ponytail and put on a cute hat. It’s easy and you still look fashionable and put together.
Side note: If you feel confident in sweats and PJ’s, I am both jealous of you and happy for you. Do you, baby boo.

 

These steps helped me get up and moving. Now I’m not saying you have to try these but, you would’t be an idiot if you followed my advice ;). Hope any of you sick earthlings feel better. Honest Alien out.